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James Donaldson on Mental Health Pt. 3

Suicide!

Wow, can someone please tell me what’s going on! Just this week alone, fashion icon, Kate Spade, and celebrity food gourmet and adventurer, Anthony Bourdain, took their lives via suicide, both, from all outward appearances, like they were “on top of the world”. Also, a friend of mine called me this morning to remind me when comedian, Robin Williams took his life a couple of years ago as well.

It’s almost a national epidemic and crisis that’s going on. I just saw a statistic that said that suicide is up 30% over the last decade or so on a national average.

On Wednesday this week, a young high school student in Wenatchee Washington, took his life, and there were countless others around the country who didn’t even make the news. There are 2 suicides a day in the State of Wahington among school-aged children (10 – 14), isn’t that incredible!!! Wenatchee School District High Schoool Suicide

This is exactly why I chose to speak up about the challenges I was going through. Read James Donaldson Mental Health Article Here. From all outward appearances, everything looks great with me as well, but for the last eight months, my whole world has been upside down, with the suicidal thoughts and temptation for me to end it all. I’m so glad I’m “on the other side” of all of that now, due mainly to the help of my medical professional doctors, prescription medication, and the whole community of dear friends and loved ones to come together to be supportive to me. They all know exactly what I’m going through, and that’s one thing I mentioned to one of my friends this morning, is now, with clear and rational thinking, the last thing I want to do, is to “exit this world by my own doing, and not say a word to anybody who loves me or matters to me, and of course, them loving and me mattering to them”. I can see that now, but when I was in the mist of my “darkness” I couldn’t see that and couldn’t realize that. That, I imagine, is exactly where people who take their lives, find themselves and they cannot find a way out.

I still feel like somewhat in a “fragile state” and it doesn’t take much for me to get set right back into that old mindset of “suicide being the only option”. The day after Memorial Day weekend, my cell phone service got cut off due to nonpayment (a couple of months past due). I just didn’t have $500 to pay to AT&T to keep my service on, and spent the next two or three days, scrounging together whatever I could to make the payment to get my service turned back on. But just by me going through that stress and trauma, (I know it sounds trivial to those who don’t have to worry about these things), set me right back to the mindset of thinking that suicide would finally put an end to all of this that I’m going through.

Also, a wonderful young lady who I recently met, and was very interested in getting a personal relationship established with, decided that she didn’t want to pursue a relationship with me. And again, the “rejection” is enough to send me right back into that mindset of thinking “suicide as an option”.

I want to share with you on a consistent basis my ongoing struggles and challenges too, and perhaps, you may have a better understanding to what people in this situation go through. Of course, I’ve learned that unless you actually have been in that “valley of darkness”, there’s really no way you can truly understand. You may be sympathetic, but the actual feeling of being there and having to go through it, I don’t think is ever realize unless you actually go through it.

Anyway, I am calling for all of us to continue pulling together, continue to speak out about the “dark places that so many of us have gone through”, cherish each and every moment of this wonderful thing called “life”, even with all its ups and downs, and trials and tribulations. By hanging in there, having faith, staying on a healthy path of reaching out to medical professionals and a good support group, you can get through it.

Since I started posting a lot of information about my own personal challenges, I’ve heard from countless people who shared their own experiences or experiences of of those who are close to them. Some have lost loved ones, spouses, children, and many of them, have gone through it themselves where they were actually “contemplating suicide”. Some of these are some dear friends of mine that I had no idea that they went through those things. But once we start talking about it, it makes it so much easier and reassures us that we are not alone.

Continue living the blessed life you are blessed with. Don’t give up. Love each other and be loved.

All the best to each and every one of you out there today.

With love, James Donaldson

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